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They aren’t necessarily representative of users of the Erotic Review, let alone the much broader sex-buying community.

But the findings, even given these limitations, are fascinating -- take that most of these “hobbyists” are primarily concerned that a provider has “a happy and cheerful personality.” That’s why I decided to talk to Christine Milrod, a psychotherapist and one of the lead authors on the study, about the so-called Girlfriend Experience, in which sex workers provide the illusion of a more romantic, cash-free transaction -- and why these "hobbyists" are drawn to it.

Did they express much interest in the provider’s pleasure?

Well, I didn’t ask that in this particular study, but when you read the reviews on the Erotic Review you see that there’s a great deal of emphasis placed on “I made her come,” “I ate her out.” This is like prestige, because, remember, even though they have user names, they still have a persona on those message boards that people know.

We had 80 percent of them say, “Oh yeah, I could marry someone who had been a former provider. Did you learn anything about their relationships with their wives?

Whether you like to hear it or not, and most people don’t like to hear it, this population are concerned a great deal about the emotion and very little about outlandish sexual acts.There’s some contradiction here: OK, you want a girlfriend, but at the same time you’re paying for it. I think the way they have reconciled it is that these men feel that they are consorting with a woman who is in her sexual prime, who really wants to have sex, and isn’t just doing it for the money.What is it that they want from the Girlfriend Experience?That’s according to a new survey of men who look for sex online, rather than on the storied street corner, and trade reviews on a website called the Erotic Review (as a Gawker headline once put it, “It’s like Yelp, but for hookers").These men are connoisseurs of the sex trade, although they refer to themselves as "hobbyists." The nearly 600 men surveyed were mostly white, middle-aged, highly educated and pulling in six figures.

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