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Worst of all, my once cool and carefree George Clooney became something of a dyspeptic George Formby as he fussed over dirty spots on the window pane, creases on the sheets and any use of cream or butter which he insisted would give him a heart attack.I saw myself becoming a carer, and worse, being coerced into a life the elderly lead; sedentary and safe, punctuated with formal soirees for his doddery friends, the wives of whom disliked and distrusted me for my comparative youth.My beau was sophisticated, intelligent and exuded the allure that comes with a rarefied lifestyle.We ate in restaurants that my male peers could neither afford nor be afforded a reservation; we enjoyed the best seats at the opera and luxuriated in first-class travel.Her husband had already had five boys by his first wife, and wasn’t keen for more children. One Christmas, I received a Hussar’s uniform, complete with a sabre he wanted me to rattle.
I couldn’t help but note she is 37 years his junior. For much of my adult life I had a penchant for older men. Like Catherine Zeta-Jones, whose relationships with men her own age seem to have ended in disappointment, I found the majority of my male contemporaries to be boobies, lacking in wit, experience and chivalry. Well, the Duke of Wellington became Prime Minister for the second time aged 65.
Doomed from the moment the Darling Bud Of May slipped a diamond ring on her slender finger and said ‘I do’ to a man 25 years her senior.
And Catherine is certainly not alone in falling victim to the age-gap blues.
I left the financier when he asked for a wheelchair to take him onto a flight to Rome.
I abandoned the lawyer when he could no longer see his feet without glasses and began, only half in jest, to talk about suicide pacts.