Mother daughter dating issues
We can share thoughts and appropriate feelings, of course, but it’s not a daughter’s job to be the repository of intimate details of your life. When you shape her into that role, it brings turmoil during a formative stage of her life and can mess up her own sense of identity and sexuality.
When she started pulling away in small steps during college, like spending the weekend on campus for an activity with friends, her mom asked guilt-producing questions like, “Why aren’t you coming home more? ” Being a compliant people pleaser, Julie got sucked into an enmeshed relationship with her mother.
Let her know you’re there for her when she needs someone to talk to, and then listen well when she takes you up on the offer.
Invite her to meet you at a coffee shop, and don’t take it personally if she’s not able to fit that into her schedule.
Mom’s hyper-involvement eventually not only hurt Julie’s ability to feel good about herself and live her own life, it also hurt their relationship.
Consequently, while her greatest wish was for her daughter to get married, Julie’s mother didn’t realize her overinvolvement was a big part of the reason her daughter wasn’t developing a relationship with a guy.