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I do believe it is possible for a non-Muslim and a Muslim to be together.I know many beautiful examples, where the couple has had to fight almost impossible odds to stay together.I am a secret to almost everyone he knows, and when he took me out to lunch at his favorite café he asked me not to hug him when I arrived, just shake hands.I understand why, I really do, but personally as a woman of 41 years old that still wants to have children, am I kidding myself to think that he might eventually come around or that it could even work at all?Someone who cares about you won’t keep you a secret. In fact, it’s clear to me that you know all that you need to know, you just want someone to affirm it for you. This situation is so common that over the nearly 2 decades of my life as an adult Muslim, it’s almost become cliché. You will lose more often than you win and for every hard-won, heart-wrenching victory born from arguments, tears, anger, lust, and love, there will be a million small and large losses that rob you of your self-respect.I don’t say this to hurt you, but I need to my words to pierce through any illusions you may be swaddling yourself in. When your illusions stop swaddling, and start choking you, and you finally have the strength to end it, you’ll be left half the woman you are now. Leave now while it hurts a little and you still have some dignity.I find myself in a hard situation with a Muslim man I love.I write because I don’t have resources within the Muslim community and would love that perspective.
As someone who went to high school and university in the West, I know that pressure very well. Distance yourself from the people that pressure you to do something you don’t want to. Focus on the things that make you happy, and insh Allah God will take care of the rest. These Modest Fashion Bloggers are Flipping the Script, MIC. Muslim Bloggers with an Eye for Style Attract a Growing Following, GLOBAL ECONOMY ISLAMIC GATEWAY, THOMPSON REUTERS.He is so liberal in so many ways but I’m very uncomfortable being a secret when we have professed such deep love for each other…and he’s not just saying it, it’s true for him.But he doesn’t know what will happen with his country and situation, so I understand that too. I am beginning to realize that this love may be an impossible hope for me…and maybe there are aspects of his faith that limit him too much to even consider a longer term, more serious relationship, no matter how liberal he seems.He can’t or won’t be the husband and father that you seek, and it doesn’t matter if his reasons are due to culture, religion, or other things.All you need to know is that this relationship can’t give you what you want, and it will take from you more than it gives.